Good Morning Class, I’ll be your substitute teacher, Stephanie…

So my little sis has asked me to guest blog for her so her ads don’t get mad at her.

I thought about just posting an embarrassing story about Amanda’s childhood every day that she’s in Australia, but decided against it. I know she’d get me back somehow.

Well, maybe I’ll just tell two stories about her childhood. Two she enjoys telling people in conjunction with each other as a demonstration of how put upon she was as the little sister.

First, an intro to these two stories:
We used to live in a neighborhood full of kids our age and houses being built, which meant lots of dirt piles and other fun natural playgrounds. Amanda, in kindergarden at the time, liked to tag along with me and my much older and more mature third grade friends. I didn’t always appreciate it.

Story 1:
One day I decided to exert my oldest-ness and concoct a way to “get” her. I decided that my cool friends and I would convince Amanda she was dead. Don’t ask me how we came up with this plan. It probably had something to do with wanting to use the cool angel wings my friend Jessie had.

The plan went like this: Amanda was swinging on my friend’s swingset, when said friend came over wearing the angel wings to tell Amanda she had fallen off the swing, died, and gone to Heaven. To demonstrate this fact, two of my other friends ran around the yard calling out Amanda’s name, as if, when she died, she somehow disappeared. Looking back, the plan may have had a few flaws.

Instead of believing this ruse, Amanda got pissed, ran home crying, and tattled on me. I was grounded for a few days.

Story 2:
On another, similar day, we were playing on one of the many dirt piles in our still-being-constructed neighborhood. We were all standing on top of a dirt pile, when I decided to trick Amanda yet again. Obviously I hadn’t learned from the first failed attempt to trick her. So, I picked up a little bit of the dirt, and told her it was “Fairy Dust” since we had just watched Peter Pan. I then sprinkled it on her and told her she could now fly. Luckily she didn’t take my advice . I don’t quite remember, but this probably also ended with her running home and telling on me.

We weren’t really pleasant to each other until I was in high school.